PART 5 — How to Show Up for Someone in Pain This Holiday Season

Let’s be honest:
Most people WANT to help someone who’s hurting…
they’re just scared to do it wrong.

Especially during the holidays, when emotions run high and everyone feels stretched thin, it can be hard to know what to say, what to offer, or how to show up without making things worse.

But here’s the truth I’ve learned—
often through my own most vulnerable moments:

People don’t need perfect helpers.
They need present ones.

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How to Support Someone Who’s Struggling (Gently & Practically)

1. Don’t try to fix it — sit with them.

When someone’s hurting, rushing to fix it can feel like dismissal.
Try instead:

❤️ “I’m here.”
❤️ “You don’t have to pretend.”
❤️ “You’re safe with me.”

Sometimes silence and presence heal more than advice ever could.

2. Offer specific help, not vague offers.

Instead of
“Let me know if you need anything,”
try:
“I’m stopping by Target—can I bring you coffee or dinner?”
or
“Can I pick up the kids tomorrow so you can rest?”

Specific love feels real.

3. Don’t minimize their feelings.

Avoid:
“It could be worse.”
“Just be grateful.”
“At least you have ___.”

Try:
“I can see this is really heavy.”
“That makes so much sense.”
“I’m here, no judgment.”

Validation is oxygen.

4. Watch for danger signs.

Someone who is suicidal may show subtle shifts—
not always dramatic ones:

• giving away meaningful items

• withdrawing or isolating

• losing interest in what mattered

• saying “I’m tired” or “I don’t think anyone would miss me”

• sudden calm after a long period of sadness

If you notice these signs, reach out.
Sit with them.
Encourage them to call 988
—or call with them if needed.

You could save their life.

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If YOU Are the One Who’s Struggling

You don’t have to explain everything to ask for help.
Start with:

“I’m having a hard time.”
or
“Can you check on me later?”

You’re allowed to need support.
You’re allowed to be held up.
You’re allowed to rest in God’s arms and in the care of people who love you.

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A Simple Spiritual Breath

“Carry each other’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
— Galatians 6:2

Love is not loud.
It’s steady.
It’s present.
It shows up with groceries, with tissues, with prayer, with presence.

And you, my friend, are fully capable of being that soft place for someone else.
And fully worthy of receiving that kind of love yourself.

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Share This With Someone Who May Need It

If someone came to mind while you were reading this, don’t ignore that nudge.
Send this to them.
Reach out.
Check on your “strong friend.”
Your message might be the very thing that keeps someone going.