PART 4 — Behind the Smile:
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The Quiet Signs Someone Is Struggling
The holiday season has a funny way of turning pain into performance.
Everyone is expected to be merry… so people become experts at smiling through the ache.
They bake the cookies. They decorate the tree. They show up. They laugh.
And yet something in their eyes whispers, “Please… look a little deeper.”
I know this firsthand.
I grew up in a house where the holidays were supposed to be magical—but often weren’t.
My siblings and I would decorate and dream big, only to watch my mom’s entire demeanor change the moment the holiday actually arrived. If it was just us at home, the air grew thick with tension. Words got sharp. Tempers flared. Sometimes it was yelling, sometimes worse.
But if guests showed up?
She could flip a switch. Suddenly she was cheerful, calm, put together.
And we’d sit there, confused, like how can joy turn on and off like a lamp?
It took me years to understand:
people who are hurting the most often hide it the best.
The Secret Signs Someone Is Struggling
Not all pain looks like tears.
Most often, holiday distress looks like:
• Withdrawal disguised as “I’m just busy.”
They keep themselves overly occupied so they don’t have to feel.
• Irritation that comes out of nowhere
Not anger about you—just a heart running on empty.
• Changes in sleep or eating
Staying in bed all day or barely sleeping at all.
• Over-helping or over-giving
Sometimes people take care of everyone else because they don’t know how to care for themselves.
• Subtle comments that hint at hopelessness
Small statements are often bigger cries for help.
If this sounds like you…
Let me say this with all the softness in my heart:
You don’t have to be the strong one this year.
You don’t have to be the cheerful one.
You don’t have to pretend.
You get to breathe.
You get to rest.
You get to ask for help.
You get to feel what you feel without apologizing for it.
A Gentle Spiritual Reminder
When the world demands you sparkle, God whispers,
“Come to Me. I know you. I see you. You’re safe with Me.”
“Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you.” — Psalm 55:22
You don’t have to shine to be loved.
You just have to show up as you are.
Share This With Someone Who Might Need It
You never know who is hiding behind a holiday smile.
Share this with someone you care about—they may need this reminder today more than you know.