Part 1 — Why the Holidays Amplify Mental Health Struggles
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Understanding the Mental Health Struggles No One Talks About
Most people expect the holidays to be the most joyful time of the year—but for many, they’re actually the heaviest.
The lights get brighter, but their world feels dimmer.
The music gets louder, but their heart grows quieter.
The celebrations increase, but so does the pressure.
And if that’s you—or someone you love—please hear this:
You are not alone, and nothing is wrong with you.
Some seasons carry more weight than others, and the holidays tend to be one of them.
Today, I want to open a gentle, honest conversation about why this season intensifies mental health struggles… and why understanding this matters more than ever.
The Quiet Reality: What the Numbers Reveal
Even though most of us put on a brave face during the holidays, the statistics tell the truth we’re often scared to say out loud:
* 64% of people with mental health challenges say the holidays make symptoms worse.
* One in five adults feels profoundly lonely during November–January.
* Financial stress spikes dramatically, especially for parents.
* Holiday-related anxiety and depression increase across all age groups.
* Crisis hotlines see major surges—especially after Christmas leading into January.
* Google searches for “panic attacks,” “depression,” and “hopelessness” climb significantly during this season.
There’s a myth that suicides peak on Christmas.
That’s not entirely accurate—emotional distress peaks during the holidays, but suicide rates rise most in the weeks following, especially in January when all the built-up pressure finally collapses.
The holidays don’t always break people…
but they often expose what’s already hurting.
Why the Holidays Feel Heavier for Some People Than Others
Not everyone walks into December with the same emotional history.
Some carry joy; others carry memories they’ve never healed from.
1. Old memories resurface—wanted or not.
The holidays awaken the child in all of us.
But for some, that child remembers chaos, fear, brokenness, or disappointment.
2. Grief feels sharper.
Empty chairs. Missing voices. Memories of someone who should be here but isn’t.
Nothing highlights loss quite like the holidays do.
3. Expectations skyrocket.
Be happy. Show up. Spend money. Host gatherings. Look festive.
The pressure to perform can crush someone already struggling emotionally.
4. Family dynamics intensify.
Toxic patterns, unspoken history, unresolved conflict…
No other season exposes family wounds like the holidays.
5. Financial strain becomes overwhelming.
People want to give—especially parents and grandparents—but money stress hits hard.
6. Loneliness deepens.
Even people surrounded by others can feel painfully alone during this season.
If you’ve ever wondered why you—or someone you love—struggles more during this time, these reasons are not only common…
they’re valid.
My Story: What I Learned Growing Up in a Home Where Holidays Were Unpredictable
Growing up, the holidays were supposed to be magical.
And for a little while, they were.
My siblings and I—being part of a big family—would throw ourselves into decorating and preparing. We’d plan the meals, hang the lights, laugh together, and build up that excited childhood energy that only holidays can bring.
But then… the day of the holiday arrived.
And suddenly, everything shifted.
My mom—who wasn’t this way on ordinary days—would turn into someone completely different.
If it was just our family at home, the atmosphere got tense and scary.
She would:
* pick fights with my dad
* lash out verbally
* become physically or emotionally abusive
* act passive-aggressive
* find ways—big or small—to ruin the day
It felt like stepping into a storm that had been waiting behind the door.
But the strangest part?
If extended family or friends came over… she held it together.
She was nicer. Calmer. More composed.
As a child, that kind of emotional inconsistency is confusing.
You wonder:
“Why can she be kind to others but not to us?”
“Why do the holidays bring out the worst in her?”
“Is something wrong with me… or with us?”
As the oldest of 10, I saw everything from the front row.
And as we got older and started having families of our own, things changed—not because she changed, but because we did.
We began speaking up.
We gently told her that if she couldn’t show love to her children and grandchildren, she didn’t need to participate.
We made a decision—
Our kids would not grow up carrying the same holiday trauma we did.
It wasn’t easy.
It wasn’t perfect.
But it was healing.
And it taught me something powerful:
Holidays don’t define a family.
But how a family chooses to break old patterns can redefine holidays.
Why Did She Act That Way?
As a grown woman, a mother, and someone who’s seen a lot of life now, I’ve learned something:
People don’t become hurtful for no reason.
They become that way because they’re hurting, too.
Unhealed trauma.
Unmet expectations.
Emotional pressure.
Abandonment wounds.
Depression.
Old memories that surface without warning.
A longing for the “perfect holiday” that never actually existed.
None of this, excuses the pain she caused.
But it helped me understand that her behavior wasn’t about us.
It was about her internal battles that she never learned how to face.
That realization didn’t rewrite my past…
but it helped heal my present.
Where God Meets Us in the Hard Seasons
Holiday pain often feels invisible to the outside world—but not to God.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18
God doesn’t hide from heavy seasons.
He sits in them with us.
And if the holidays have ever made you feel:
- overwhelmed
- unseen
- angry
- exhausted
- numb
- lonely
- triggered
- discouraged
…God is not disappointed in you.
He understands you.
And He walks gently with those who carry the kind of stories that don’t fit inside a Christmas card.
If You’re Struggling This Season, You’re Not Failing — You’re Human
Whatever your holidays look like this year—messy, quiet, chaotic, lonely, joyful, or healing—please know that your feelings are real and valid.
And if someone you love is struggling, don’t assume they’re “okay” just because they’re smiling.
This season touches deep places in people.
Sometimes the strongest thing someone does during the holidays is simply make it through the day.
And that’s heroic in its own way.
A Gentle Invitation
If this resonated with you—even a little—please share it with someone you care about.
Someone who’s hurting.
Someone who’s grieving.
Someone who struggles silently every December.
Someone who needs to know they’re not the only one who finds this season difficult.
You never know how much hope you might bring to someone by simply saying,
“I thought of you when I read this.”
And if this is you…
I’m sending you love, strength, and the reminder that better days can come.
Healing is not only possible—it’s already unfolding.